Wednesday, March 7, 2012

A minor crisis of confidence...

Ok, so I've been sick.......and really unable to run like I'd like to.  I'm trying to train for the Boston Marathon and with less than 6 weeks left, every day I'm missing feels that much bigger.  And I lost 2 long runs because of vacation travel.....then another one last weekend because I simply couldn't go....

So now I'm looking at doing 19 on the course this coming Saturday morning....and I'm worried about my ability to go out and do it and not either quit halfway through...or end up broken somewhere on the side of the road.

And then I start to think about how much I have trained so far......how smartly I've done it to avoid injury......and knowing that my cold/sinus infection/laryngitits is starting to go away and I'll start to truly feel more like myself soon.........and I start to feel better about the whole thing.

I had a bunch of students come to see me for help after school today........as much as I love the daily grind of being a classroom teacher, it's when I get to work with students either one-on-one or in a small group without distractions that's my favorite time of all.  That's when I feel most useful and can truly help them better access the curriculum and begin to master the topic.  These girls had lots of questions and we worked together to find the solutions.  So when I left school, I was feeling really good.  I'd had a good teaching day, the sun was shining, and it was wonderfully warm (around 55 degrees) and I was going to run outside.

I got home, laced 'em up and headed out.......I have a favorite 5-mile loop and my goal was to go easy and run 10's.  When I returned, hit the driveway and shut off the Garmin, I'd run 5.09 miles @ 9:59.....right on target. 

So while I'm still having my doubts about the whole thing, I'm going to keep doing what I've always done.....and that's to continue to put one foot in front of the other and repeat.  If I need to slow down, I'll slow down.  If I need to walk, I'll walk.  I know I can do it.....I know I can finish.......and that knowledge is what I'll draw on every time that insecurity creeps up on me again.

8 comments:

  1. You've come way too far to even think about quitting now. Don't give up! Boston is way too precious of a goal to not reach. You can SO do it. Step by step it will be yours.

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    1. ain't no give up here, T.....it's just been a rough 2 weeks after a great vacation. Thanks for the encouragement!

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  2. Everyone is different, and I'm not saying that anything I may have done is a blueprint for success, but about four weeks out from my marathon I was in a somewhat "similar" situation. I personally was concerned that a 3.5 hour long run at that point might setup a re-injury situation (it was a planned 20 miler). I determined to run the 20 miles inside of 24 hours instead of all in one shot, and ran 6 in the evening on a Friday, 8 on Saturday morning early, and another 6 about 4 in the afternoon. If your concern remains, you might consider something similar, since both methods have you covering the miles on tired legs (and it wasn't all that easy). Just a thought :-)

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    1. not too worried about it, Michael.....at the pace I'm planning to run (10's), I'm not going to end up hurt.....just tired! LOL But thanks for the advice, nonetheless!

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  3. just keep it slow n' steady, do your fueling, & you'll be fine, Mr. Fine. ;-)

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    1. that's the plan, Lisa.....that's the plan!

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  4. Get some long runs in. You'll feel much better when you do.

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  5. You'll be great tomorrow morning! Slow and steady, just like you did for the 5 miles. I also agree with you about feeling best when working one-one or in small groups with students. I love having them working with groups and being able to work with them in a small group!

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